Stress

     Naturally, one thing that comes along with school is stress. No matter what it's there and you will feel it. Now imagine the stress that comes along with nursing school. Not only is there school stress but there is also the stress of everyday life. In my situation, I work part-time one day a week at a dentist office as a dentist assistant. I am the main assistant because I am the only assistant on Thursdays, so that right there is another stress. On top of that, my grandmother lives with us and last year she got her leg amputated because of cholesterol that was affecting her circulation (I know everyone associates amputations with diabetes but not in her situation). I feel like for the most part I am the one left to take care of her. I mean sure my mom takes care of her financially and she does have a home health aid  days a week from 8-5 but I still carry much of the burden. for one thing if her aid takes a day off they send these incompetent workers who just get in the way and I usually pick up the slack for them. Even when her regular people are here with her she still relies on me to do a majority of things. Now don't get me wrong, I do not mind at all helping her out, its just the time and the stress that comes with it can really take a toll on me. And then on top of that, my mom expects me to play housekeeper when she's not home. Again, I don't mind helping out around the house at all. My problem is when she gets mad at me and says that I need to help her out more and I can't let her do everything for everyone. This blows my mind because sometimes I feel like she forgets that I'm in nursing school and that I do all the things that I do for her mother, my grandmother. So when she gets mad at me, it makes me feel like I'm the hired help and I'm not doing my job. One thing people seem to forget is that no one HAS to do anything for you. I do things because I choose to do things and I am not one to say no to people who tell me to do things. So even if I may feel stressed and feel like I'm being pulled in a million and one directions, I will still do what I'm told. Okay so maybe once in a while I have a lazy day where I don't feel like doing anything, is that really a crime? It's okay for everyone else but not for me?! I know everyone, both family and strangers, have their own personal loads that they carry but I do as well so if I don't feel like doing something or don't do anything it's because I just don't want to at the moment. Sometimes, for example, I have to study or read for class, I can never really do what I need to do sometimes because my name is getting called to do things for my grandmother (not to mention that I have a brother and two cousins living in the house as well but only my name gets called). When my mom calls me, she gives me a million and one things to do at once and then gets upset when you don't get to them. I just wish the same way everyone else gets tired and wants time to themselves, that the same way I can feel too. I don't know I just needed to get that out and I'm not one to let people know how I'm feeling or talk about things like that so why not put it here. I know I tend to make myself sound like an annoying spoiled brat but then again everyone has that side to them. Hey what can I say I am a work in progress...